it's the holidays!

omg let me repeat it again..

IT'S THE HOLIDAYS!!

hahaha

a brief respite from all that hectic stress-filled school days.

for this holiday,

i'm gonna aim to strike a nice balance between having fun and getting sufficient rest to refresh and recharge.

i wanna meet up with ppl i have, for too long, been neglecting,

i wanna hear bout what silly/ meaningful things ppl have been up to,

and just generally spend time with ppl.

now that i have the time to really be 100% there and not just being physically there while my mind's somewhere else worrying bout a billion other things.

gosh, in that sense, the holidays are like a blank canvas just waiting to be filled with a kaleidoscopic spectrum of colours.

i wanna go out, have fun and make memories.

at the same time,

i wanna spend some time with myself,

resting and recharging.

sometimes i forget how much school and all the different commitments take out of me.

in retrospect,

these past 6 months have been one of the most challenging and tiring periods of my life,

and there have been times when i feel like i'm being pulled apart in all directions, as different things vie for my immediate attention;

when i feel on the brink of just giving up everything;

being literally torn apart as there are moments when i wake up to find that i have no idea what the hell i'm doing or why.

and now, i wanna take the time to reflect and truly think about things.

think about what's important to me,

think about the lil quirky non-sensical random things that keep me sane

think happy thoughts,

away from the noise and hustle that calls out to me to be all the different things i'm not.

bascially, i wanna take the time to think;

to hold up a mirror to myself and come to terms with the person staring back at me.

so, to end off,

here's much love for a wonderful holiday ahead! =)

gosh, i don't know what to say..

a kaleidoscope of emotions, swirling around each other,

these feelings, they are so hard to write..

being back there brings back a ton of memories,

seeing it all again today,

that familiar backdrop,
that identical sense of excitement that hangs in the air,
the nervous smiles right before,
the motivating whooshes and
the same old " OMG the mascara's missing. AGAIN!?"

just brings such a bittersweet feeling.

like a juxtaposition that's not really there,
i watch these scenes play out through a window
the excitement, the nervousness, the joy..
they are not mine anymore.
now, i am only there to watch as a spectator,
maybe occasionally poking my head in,
but never really being a part of it.
and i miss it so much my heart aches.
But even then, i know..

that another generation has risen.

AND what a generation it is!

watching them all step up and take the lead, watching them grow up
and put up one kickass performance just brings indescribable pride.
it's amazing what they've come so far to accomplish.
it really makes one feel so old.
EDS COM '08, you guys are awesome!

there's so much i wanna say, but yet

it's so hard to put it down in words,

everything seems like an understatement,

and there's no prose, poetry or rhyme that can fully encompass the magnitude of these emotions.

pride doesnt even begin to cover it!

So, this goes out to all the dancers with love,

to all my darling jnrs, (especially the sec 4s)
i've watched you grow from being that shy, quiet girls
to amazing dancers who just SHINE in the spotlights.
watching all of you blossom into gorgeous individuals,
finding your place on the stage,
dancing, acting.
it's just amazing!

each and every one of you are beautiful in your own special way
and tonight, the spotlight's managed to capture that in your dancing and in your smiles
it's an honour being your snr and just watching you dance your heart out
gives me immense joy.
girls, you did GREAT tonight! be as proud of yourselves as i am of all of you=)

with MUCH LOVE,

Sam.