breathe. think. clear your head.

Too many things going on, I promise, you will have time to think everything through soon. but not now.

Now you need to focus on ONE thing.

Just one.

Reflections of a Skyline

“And I want to play hide-and-seek
 and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes 
and sit on the steps while you take a bath 
and massage your neck and kiss your feet 
and hold your hand and go for a meal 
and not mind when you eat my food and meet you at Rudy’s
and talk about the day and type your letters 
and carry your boxes 
and laugh at your paranoia and 
give you tapes you don’t listen to and watch great films 
and watch terrible films 
and complain about the radio and take pictures of you 
when you’re sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee 
and bagels and Danish and 
go to Florent and drink coffee at midnight 
and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match
 and tell you about the the programme I saw the night before and 
take you to the eye hospital and not laugh at your jokes
and want you in the morning 
but let you sleep for a while 
and kiss your back and stroke your skin 
and tell you how much I love 
your hair
your eyes 
your lips 
your neck 
your breasts 
your arse 
and sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home 
and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and 
worry when you’re late and be amazed when you’re early 
and give you sunflowers and go to your party 
and dance till I’m black and 
be sorry when I’m wrong and 
happy when you forgive me and
look at your photos and wish I’d known you forever 
and hear your voice in my ear and
feel your skin on my skin and 
get scared when you’re angry and 
your eye has gone red and the other eye blue 
and your hair to the left and your face oriental
and tell you you’re gorgeous 
and hug you when you’re anxious 
and hold you when you hurt and 
want you when I smell you and 
offend you when I touch you 
and whimper when I’m next to you and 
whimper when I’m not 
and dribble on your breast and 
smother you in the night and 
get cold when you take the blanket and 
hot when you don’t and
melt when you smile and 
dissolve when you laugh and 
not understand why you think I’m rejecting you 
when I’m not rejecting you and 
wonder how you could think I’d ever reject you and 
wonder who you are but accept you anyway
 and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy 
who flew across the ocean because he loved you 
and write poems for you and wonder why you don’t believe me 
and have a feeling so deep I can’t find words for it 
and want to buy you a kitten I’d get jealous of 
because it would get more attention than me 
and keep you in bed when you have to go
and cry like a baby when you finally do and 
get rid of the roaches and 
buy you presents you don’t want and 
take them away again and 
ask you to marry me 
and you say no again 
but keep on asking because though you think I don’t mean it 
I do 
always have from the first time I asked you 
and wander the city thinking it’s empty without you 
but I want what you want and 
think I’m losing myself but know I’m safe with you 
and tell you the worst of me and
try to give you the best of me 
because you don’t deserve any less 
and answer your questions when I’d rather not 
and tell you the truth when I really dont’ want to 
and try to be honest because I know you prefer it 
and think it’s all over 
but hang on in for just ten more minutes 
before you throw me out of your life 
and forget who I am 
and try to get closer to you 
because it’s a beautiful learning to know you 
and well worth the effort 
and speak German to you badly 
and Hebrew to you worse 
and make love with you at three in the morning 
and somehow somehow somehow 
communicate some of the overwhelming 
undying 
overpowering 
unconditional 
all-encompassing 
heart-enriching 
mind-expanding 
on-going 
never-ending 
love 
I have for you.” 

-Sarah Kane, Crave