Goals

This is the year that I will learn to be grateful - not only for the many little things that enrich my life, but also for the many things that people have done for me - no matter how small it might seem to be.

To express gratitude because acts of kindness always takes thought, because someone took the effort to show they cared, and recognition of that and honesty in how these things have made me happy or my life better is sth that they more than deserve.

It may not come naturally to me, but as with everything else, this can be practiced until it becomes second nature to me. And this is the year that I promise myself to practice it until I succeed.

Letters to myself

Remember this feeling. Remember that I can be happy on my own. Maybe not in the long term, but right here, right now, I'm happy and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I have achieved a lot and experienced even more in a short time. There is so much to do in life - friends and family and beautiful parts of the human experience to discover.

And for once, you answer to nobody but yourself. You get to test how far that potential of yours really can go, what new parts of you will emerge in new experiences, environments and challenges.

Learn to live freely and bravely, with excitement and hope :)

Letters to myself #1

I think i will need to let this one go. Hold out Sam, hold out for the person who you're deeply and passionately in love with, and who is equally deeply and passionately in love with you. Because you're amazing and you're worth being loved wholeheartedly.

Let it go, and if it comes back, you'll know it was meant to be.

Hold still. Calm your heart.

- 22 June 2016

All in good time

Have patience with yourself and the world. If it's meant to be, it will happen in good time.

perspective

"You'll want for more, more than ever, because it keeps you alive to keep wanting. But when it comes down to the day you'll find yourself gazing at an untrodden winding road and think, "I should sit down now", you'll know - you've lived, and you've loved."

In the middle of the night, a sense of peace and gratefulness comes over me.

Yes, I will always be wanting more. And yes, the uncertain future still scares me. The impatience of wanting to have life figured out and for everything to fall into place is still there.

But looking back at my life, I can't help but feel how lucky I have been to have experienced all that I have. And in this moment, I know - that I have loved and oh, how I have lived.

And that in itself is an incredible privilege.

There is purity in joy

I learnt something today. I learnt that it's possible to take joy in caring about someone. That wanting them to be happy is enough. That I don't need to be with them, to get anything in return or to be appreciated for my affections. I don't need to hold on to this person, or for this feeling to last forever. To experience it, to know it, is enough.

I don't know if you feel the same way, but for once, that's perfectly fine. There is beauty in the present, there is peace in not wanting anything more.

Thank you for sharing your story, for telling me that my stubbornness is endearing (and in doing so, showing me that I am perfectly fine just the way I am), for telling me that I make you happy. Thank you for the hug when I needed it, for naming our special moments and for looking at (for?) the stars. Thank you for taking me to the beach when all I needed was some peace and a place and time to rest. Thank you for giving me a chance to learn what it means to love, selflessly.

In this moment, my heart is full, and I am more than ok.

- 8 June 2016

It's pouring outside, stay dry :)