I hope he loves you like this

I hope he cooks you breakfast
Knowing how you like your eggs
how you take your coffee
how little or how much you wish to speak.
I hope he cooks you dinner, too
For no reason at all.

I hope he holds your hand proudly
as you walk through a room
of people you don’t know.

I hope he builds you up
until you are standing on a pedestal
of your own creation.

I hope he encourages you to make art
take risks
travel the world
be alone—
always knowing that you’ll be back
home in his warm embrace
as long as his heart is open.

I hope he wears his heart on his sleeve
and is not shy
to adorn yours
as well.

I hope he is the kind of person
who, when presented with the ocean,
will not shy away
from diving in
to ride the waves.

I hope he is all of himself
unafraid to own
his stories
no matter how dark they may seem.

I hope he can see that all of you
is in the stars
poking through
the dark sky
of your past.

I hope he is not scared
by your ability to choose growth
your ability to not be held hostage
by the person you were yesterday
last week
last year.

I hope his attention span
is as long as every word
that exits your mouth
your heart.
I hope that he hears your truth
and meets it with gratitude
for your vulnerability.

I hope he loves you
in a way you didn’t know love existed.
For you have only seen love
in other places
with shaky ground that fell
beneath your hopeful feet.

This is who I hope
for you—
Because you are worthy
of being loved
by a heart so bright
the sun blushes
in admiration.

~

Author: Annabelle Blythe

little everyday miracles

"Once I thought that writing this book would be impossible. It was a skyscraper, massive and complete and unbearably far off. It taunted me from the horizon. But when do we ever look at such buildings and assume they sprung up overnight? No. We've seen the traffic congestion that attends them. The skeleton of beams and girders. The swarm of builders and the rattle of cranes...
Everything grand is made from a series of ugly little moments. Everything worthwhile by hours of self-doubt and days of drudgery. All the works by people you and I admire sit atop a foundation of failures.So whatever your project, whatever your struggle, whatever your dream, keep toiling, because the world needs your skyscraper.
Per aspera, ad astra!" - Red Rising

In the midst of a certain cloud of hopelessness and jadedness, this was a ray of light and a timely reminder that all things of worth takes time.

The impossible woman

To be a woman is to exist in polarities. I've been following Hillary Clinton's run for presidency with great interest. 8 years ago, America made history when it elected its first black President. Will it make history again by electing its first woman President, I wonder?

But it was Bill Clinton's speech at the DNC that struck a cord. He spoke of her as a young law student, as a mother, as a woman and in doing so, rendered her vivid, human and real. This stands in stark contrast to how Hillary most often presents herself - she focuses on her record of accomplishments, on her vision, and on her policies - efficient, effective, impersonal - borderline unlikeable.

That's when it struck me - to be a woman is to exist in polarities.

We grow up being told that we can aspire to everything that a man can be, and more. Intelligent, Powerful, Strong. We can change the world, build wonders, invent miracles.

But along the way, we also discover that being a woman comes with shades of unsaid expectations. To be a woman is to be always understanding, patient, kind. Always selfless, gentle, humble. Speak softly, for your thoughts and opinions are less worthy than those of the confident man standing at the head of the table, whose only necessary badge of credibility is his arrogance - he says it is, so it must be so - all other opinions are irrelevant and inferior. The clincher in all this, is that he will be liked for it, because success and likeability are apparently positively correlated for men.

Women on the other hand wear assertiveness and competitiveness far less flatteringly. Even Sheryl Sandbergs extoles, "always be nice, and say things with a smile" - otherwise known as being relentlessly pleasant. But if a woman seems really nice, she is considered more nice than competent. On the other hand, if a woman seems really competent, she does not seem nice enough. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

As a 25 year old leading a non-profit organisation, I walk a tightrope of expectations, slammed on both sides by the double whammy of being young and a woman. If I'm too nice, I'm weak and incompetent; if I'm not nice enough, no one will want to work with me. If I'm too humble, I can't inspire confidence and faith in the work we do; if I'm not humble enough, I'm too arrogant and I don't know my place. and so it goes on...

In a similar way, this double standard plays out in a romantic context. We follow men across the world, and never think twice when we are asked to put their dreams before ours. "Come with me" becomes an undeniable request. Because what could possibly be more romantic than a man who loves you so much that he can't live without you and so asks you to follow him wherever he may go?

(And yet, why is the opposite far less common or attractive?)

I might be willing to move to the ends of the earth for a man I love, because I see the way his eyes light up when he talks about his dreams. And to achieve your dream is an amazing thing, and I would want nothing more for him.

But I will never do it for a man who would ask it of me, who takes it as a given, simply because what, he has a dick, and that somehow makes his dreams more important than mine?

and yet, these expectations persist. And as my friend has very eloquently said, "Such is the source of our internal conflict: When we've been raised to be strong and independent but then socially pressured into pandering to men's preferences for sweet docility." 

Therein lies the tension, while I seek a man who is my intellectual and professional equal (or superior), with dreams and ambitions I can believe in and want to support, I did not work so hard to achieve what I have, just to play second fiddle to a man who prioritises his life over mine.

When I think about the kind of relationship I want, I envision a partnership where we pursue our own respective goals and dreams, yet are committed to mutually supporting each other in that pursuit. I think about coming home from a long day at work, comforted by the notion of being able to share my thoughts, challenges and triumphs with my partner, and excited to hear about his. I think about how we will be a team, working together to build the life that we want; stepping up and making up for each other where we fall short, because we're all human. I think of the night when the baby's crying and I havent slept in weeks because I will always think that looking after our child is my role, yet he automatically goes over to soothe the baby, just so that I can finally try to get some sleep. I think about how we will celebrate our successes together, lean on each other through the difficult times and hold each other accountable for being the best people we can be, because we believe so wholly and deeply in the other.

I imagine a relationship founded on mutual respect, strengthened by love, and held together by a deep appreciation for who the other is as a person.

Now, tell me if this is all too much to hope for. 

One way ticket out of here

I just came back from two amazing holidays - full of postcard-worthy landscapes, experiences that make me grateful for the world, and the kind of company that reminds me that much of our soul resides in the ones we love.  

Now that I'm back, I can't help but lament that the problem with holidays is that I will always have to return eventually (and often far too soon).

I love my life, and am infinitely grateful for all that I have. I recognise that I am one of the lucky ones - the ones who get to live a life doing exactly what they wanted to do. Sure, there are tough days, but I do work that is both fullfilling and rewarding, and that's more than a lot of people can say.

But some days, I just want to book a one way ticket out of here; make plans as I go along, do things the moment I feel like it, just because.

To wander in wonder, and live beautifully from moment to moment. To not have to think of the future or the past, but to live wholly and fully in the present.

To run around barefeet;
to sing in the rain.
Dance in the streets,
sit in a cafe and make up stories about people I don't know.
Jump naked into a lake and feel the water on my skin
Talk to strangers, and thank the universe that our paths crossed, no matter how fleetingly.
To experience life in the moments as they happen, not in memories or dreams.

That's the perennial dilemma isnt it? Wanting to live a life of purpose and achievement while also wanting to live a life that feels free.

Can someone teach me how to do that?