and just like that - it's 2022.
To be honest, 2021 was a strange year. I went into it with so much expectation that it would be different from 2020, yet somehow it strangely felt the same. I remember ending 2020 with so much uncertainty, I wasn't sure where I was going to live or what work I would do; who I was going to be with and who I would be. In so many ways, I enter 2022 with that same uncertainty.
2021 brought some answers. Where? Los Angeles. What? VC in emerging markets. And left the rest unanswered still. It also bought new struggles - the pain of paying rent became oh so very real, as did the hundred other small administrative adulting tasks and responsibilities that come with living on my own. The location might have changed, but my days still remain largely the same. I still spend most of my days alone at home, I still cook most of my meals. I still try to run everyday, I still go days without talking to anyone in person. Work still needs to be intrinsically self-motivated, and now more than ever, I find myself needing to be vision-maker, cheer-leader, and chief strategist all-in-one. I don't feel any less crazy or less lonely doing it.
At the same time, so much happened in 2021. I celebrated my 30th birthday with a bonfire by the beach, watching a beautiful sunset surrounded by friends and love. I got to see the firefalls in Yosemite and set off fireworks & smokebombs in Tahoe. I checked off another 3 national parks in California - camping in Pinnacles, hiking to the mountain tops of Kings Canyon National Park, and walking in the shade of thousand-year-old trees in Sequoia National Park. I got to experience Hawaii in all its stunning glory.
Beyond all that, it was also a year of big life changes. I graduated Stanford, and even though it feels like such a foregone conclusion now. I have to remind myself that it really was not. I survived that horrible first quarter that made me wonder if coming here was a mistake. In the midst of a raging pandemic and a worsening political crisis, I survived starting over in a completely new country, a painful breakup (twice), found a way to balance my need for safety with my need for freedom, and endless, endless hours of zoom classes and meetings. So cheers to graduating with a Master's from Stanford, which in any other time would have been an achievement in and of itself - but in this particular time, is nothing short of a feat.
and not only did I survive, I somehow, by sheer will and the grace of God, found a way to thrive. Yes, the transition period was hard and discouraging. Yes, I too found the lockdown isolating and unnerving. But in the midst of all this darkness and uncertainty, I somehow was able to find the thread that tied together the last 10 years of my working life, and my driving purpose for the next 20-30 years. Even as the world became increasingly isolating and fragmented, I found a way to leverage remote work to build my network and make what I want to do all the more possible. And while many would have understandably chosen certainty in these unpredictable and trying times, I chose to step out and take the riskier path in hopes of making the impact I want and living a life of no regrets.
Through it all, I am eternally grateful for friends who've been there for me. you are the bright sparks in a dark night, you are the reason I have such amazing memories, and you keep me grounded and sane. You have given me shelter, counsel and a hug when I most needed it and I cannot thank you enough. I am also ever grateful for my family, who have given me such a life of privilege and enabled me to make the choices that I have.
So Sam, even though it feels like you're so far from where you want to be, the fact is 2021 was an amazing year for you. You moved to LA, got your own apartment, got a beautiful new car, started building your own company, and closed your first deal investing in a female founder that you wholeheartedly believe in, working hard to solve a crucial problem in an emerging market. So sometimes it's worth taking a step back to realize that your life is fucking fire (in all the best ways). At the start of 2021, you wrote:
"This year I commit to being bold in my choices. For a whole year, I commit to saying yes to life and opportunities, if given a choice to play it safe or take the riskier path, I commit to embracing the fear and walking boldly into it."
You should be freaking damn proud that you've lived up to that. You've made the bold choices, now it's time to work your ass off to make those dreams happen. 2022, let's go.
No comments:
Post a Comment